October: Oranges Time to Shine!

Warning: This post is surprisingly and unnecessarily offensive.

Offensive:  Elmo eating an Asian kid.

Eleven out of twelve months of the year the color orange is completely neglected and looked down upon as an outcast.  It's like the Jew of colors.  Nobody wants to be associated with it, live in it's neighborhood, or most importantly, have it for a mother.  But come October it's like pre-Holocaust Europe, orange is everywhere! 

Not only is October the most open-minded month of the year for accepting the color orange, but it's also one of the most exciting months!  No, not because of Halloween, Columbus Day, or Canadian Thanksgiving, but because it's Polish American Heritage Month (PAHM)!  You know what that means!  Everyone gets to dress up silly, eat meatballs, and have their yard conquered by their neighbor!  This may also include Blitzkrieg (specifically #3).  Yay Polish people!

Another reason October is awesome is because it is the only month that pumpkins exist.  We call this the Punxsutawny Phil effect.  The only true difference between the two is that pumpkins do not have the innate ability to primitively predict the fate of an entire season.

The best part of having pumpkins for one month are all the delicious foods that are derived from pumpkins; pies, cheesecakes, quiche etc.  And if you really want to go crazy, you can mix two October celebrations (the celebration of Polish American Heritage, and the celebration of pumpkins), and you can make pumpkin pierogi!  Delish.  But make sure you eat as much pumpkin product as possible by October 31, because by November 1 they'll all turn back into carriages (Happy PAHM!).

So, orange, enjoy your time in the spotlight now, because November is coming, and then no one will give a fuck about you for another eleven months.

Catch ya'll later.

  -Andrew