Real Humans Vote Democrat!

Here are ten, 100% true, completely reasonable, absurdly unbiased reasons why not to vote Republican in this upcoming election:

1. John McCain's medical record is longer than the King James edition of the Bible.
2. While in the Navy and during his time as a prisoner of war at the Hanoi Hilton, John McCain had numerous gay encounters and performed many abortions for the North Vietnamese, whom he was very friendly with.  Conservatives be warned!
3. 1 out of every 12 children will be eaten by John McCain.
   
4. If you vote Republican, you will go to Hell.  Even if you don't believe in it.
   
5. Cashews are the best looking, and most delicious nut.
6. White men can't jump.  John McCain is white.
7. John McCain says the word "maverick" too much.  Imagine if he learns a new word.
8. Sarah Palin: Alaska has been a state less than the amount of time John McCain has been alive.  She has tourettes. We might as well impeach her now for an imminent sexual scandal, Russian invasion, or bridge fiasco.  Alaskans have the same needs and wants as penguins, polar bears, and violins.  Maybe she should run for  President of the Animal Kingdom.
9. His slogan: "Country first ?" As opposed to what?  Pirates and Happy Meal toys?!
10. John McCain doesn't care about the little people. He hates midgets (see Stream of Idiocy).