Snaps and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

I mean... come on.

WATCH

The news anchor says it all:"How is that even a record?"

 Anything can be in the Guinness Book of World Records these days.  Don't they have any dignity anymore?  Any standards?  They let people in for being short!  How is that even a record?!  What did they achieve?!  

How do approach some one about this (the above) record? "Hey kid, that's a lot of snails.  We should put you in a book!  But not any book. No!  A book full of freaks and oddities and people who can lift cars over their heads and throw them.  A book documenting some of the greatest feats of human physical and mental achievement!  You belong in that book, snail boy."

I'm going to attempt to break the record for most sandwiches seen.

Tisk, tisk Guinness.  You should be ashamed. 

Introducing:

:@(

The swine flu emoticon!

(I'm a little late to the game)

Note to Maureen Dowd: Don't steal my pig face.

Digital Protest

If there's one thing technology has destroyed in America, it's the opportunity for social change.  Rather than people going out and speaking their mind in public forums, in face-to-face deliberation, people go on website like Twitter, or Blogspot.com and write about social issues.  They write.

Today more people write about change then actually taking action, or speaking out for their beliefs.

We will never make progress if all we do is talk, or in this case write.

The words of some poor sucker on a blog, in the company of millions of other unread blogs, can never compare to the spoken word and the actions of those who fought for change before us.

We will never progress into a brighter, more life-fulfilling future if we reserve our quarrels of the state of things for the dungeons of discourse: the bandwidth and pixels of the internet.

We did not gain these freedoms which we are granted in the Constitution through digital protest.  We will never gain any freedoms through such means.  Men fought and died to better the future.  Now men merely type and bemoan over keyboards.

So I say, go forth!  Speak your mind!  Change the world.