Wednesday, December 10, 2008

California, Rest In Peace

Well it's almost official: California is broke.

This sucks.  This sucks for a number of reasons.  First of all, California is now going to have to go on welfare.  That's kind of embarrassing.  Utah is somewhere laughing in disapproval.  Probably in Utah actually...

And trying to convert California to Mormonism.  

But don't worry!  I have a solution!

Just think, what do you do when you really need money?  Who do you call?

VIKINGS! 

I say we send a team of highly trained Vikings to each and every home (including, but not limited to, boat-homes, troll-huts, tent-cities, cardboard constructs, and igloos) to loot everyone* in California.  Simple.  Effective.  Gummy bears.















In other news.  I found this in my fridge today.

I bought it, but I wouldn't have.  I clearly made a poor groceral decision.

Yoghurt.  It says Yoghurt.

What the fuck is Yog-hurt?! Yagh-hurt?!

How did this happen?  When I go yogurt shopping I make a selections like I'm Rainman.  Actually, more like Dustin Hoffman.

I can't believe I didn't look at the label and say, "That one has too many letters."

A feel a little raped.

The name Mountain High is a clear indicator of what this company is all about. For all we know the cows on the label own Mountain High. 

That one big cow is just staring me down.  He's like, "I'm a cow mother fuckah!  Moo-fucking-ooo."   

He's also an Italian mobster apparently.  Actually... Marlon Brando?

Question of the day: Can you break your legs in space?

Peace & Justice

*Does not include me.

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